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Dr. Raven Cuckoo, Esquire was an eccentric human physician and plastic surgeon of dubious acuity, who often was involved in various unsavoury and frequently illegal activities.
Biography[]
Treating Jeff, Jane, and Mitch[]
Performing Surgery[]
Dr. Raven Cuckoo, Esquire performed surgery on Jeff Woods, after his violent altercation with local hooligans Randy, Troy, and Keith.[1] (PROSE: Jane the Killer: The Real Story)
Mitch's First Visit[]
Mitch was brought to the hospital Cuckoo was working at. Cuckoo had to apologize to Mitch, whose left kidney had been stolen in an unknown fashion.[2]
Mitch was sent home, and told to come back in a few weeks. Cuckoo also announced he had to check on another patient, a youth with a rectally inserted tube that needed to be removed.[3]
Visiting Jane Arkensaw[]
Woods' parents visited Jane Arkensaw in her hospital room. They congratulated her for her bravery and invited her to dinner. When Arkensaw asked whether or not Jeff was ok, Barbra Woods said that Jeff had been out of surgery for several hours and that the doctor said Jeff would be just fine.[1] (PROSE: Jane the Killer: The Real Story)
When Jane called them morons in response to this, Dr. Cuckoo asked what she expected of him before continuing to see his other patient.[4] (SKETCH: Jane the Killer: The Real Story)
Discharging Jeff Woods[]
Dr. Raven Cuckoo was present at the removal of Jeffrey Woods facial bandages.[5] He told the family to hope for the best, while eating a pie.[6]
He pulled the last remaining bandage from Woods' face, and looked on as the youth ran to the mirror and went insane, having fallen in love with his own face, all the while twitching and breaking into fits of laughter. Barbra Woods asked Cuckoo whether this was normal behaviour. Cuckoo replied that it was normal for people under the effects of large doses of painkillers, and that if his behaviour hadn't changed in a few weeks, to bring Jeff back to the hospital for a psychological test.[7] (SKETCH: Jeff the Killer)
Mitch's Second Visit[]
The next night, Mitch woke up in the hospital after having fled from Eyeless Jack. Dr. Cuckoo entered the room, and told Mitch the good news that his injuries had been minor. As Mitch prepared to leave, however, Cuckoo informed him of the bad news, that his brother had been murdered, and apologized.[8] As before, Cuckoo wasn't entirely certain what had happened, and struggled to remember what a knife was called, forcing Mitch to remind him. (SKETCH: Eyeless Jack & The Alley)
Dog-inflicted wound[]
Cuckoo-Raving, now in Canada, became considered the best doctor in the town he was in.[9] A patient came in to see him, and he asked what was the matter with her.[10] The patient then pointed out the large chunk of flesh that was missing from her face.
The patient was put under sedation and operated upon, before waking up and admiring their face in the mirror. The patient was surprised to be told that the surgery had been free.[11] She hugged him as thanks, and he left, having been late for curling practice, leaving on his Zamboni.
As the patient drove away in her car, the effects of the anesthesia wore off and she began to realize her face had been pieced together with dog flesh. As pieces of her face began to fall off, she remembered the dog she had killed to save her life, and realized it must have belonged to Cuckoo-Raving.
Her body was subsequently found on 20 September, 2010, lacking a face.[12] (SKETCH: The Lady in the Basement & Dog Bite)
Appearance[]
Cuckoo-Raving was overweight,[6] and wore a propeller hat, a spinning bowtie, rainbow suspenders, and 3D glasses.[13]
Notes[]
- Dr. Cuckoo-Raving was created as a parody of various doctors in Creepypasta, and their general incompetence. The doctors in various stories are generally rendered as having been Cuckoo-Raving, and the general absurdity of the characters are often ad-libbed as well, adding to the insanity.
- Cuckoo-Raving often recommends treatments that are incredibly shoddy, such as prescribing pills and suggesting people return following several weeks, or prescribing leeches.
- Raven Cuckoo was first named in the "Eyeless Jack & The Alley" episode of "Bad Creepypasta", though he was also jokingly referred to as "Dr. Cuckoo-cachoo" and "Dr. Poopoopaloo".
- Raven Cuckoo was once speculated by Toby to have been the true identity of Eyeless Jack, though this was only ever referenced once.[13]
Appearances[]
- Jeff the Killer (first appearance)
- Jane the Killer: The Real Story (first appearance chronologically)
- Eyeless Jack & The Alley (second appearance chronologically, first mention of name)
- The Lady in the Basement & Dog Bite
- Clockwork: Your Time is Up
- MaRIo III: The Threequel
References[]
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 "Yes." I replied quietly, embarrassed. "Is your son alright?"'"He just came out of surgery a few hours ago. The doctors said he will be fine." - Jane the Killer: The Real Story
- ↑ After I was rushed to the hospital, my doctor told me that I must have been sleepwalking, but then he showed me something that made my blood turn cold. He lifted up my shirt to reveal a sewn up incision where my kidneys were. I started in his eyes, my eyes widening. “You somehow lost your left kidney last night. We don’t know how, though. Sorry, Mitch.” my doctor told me. - Eyeless Jack
- ↑ Jacob: (As Cuckoo) "Come back after a couple of weeks." Matt: (As Cuckoo) "I gotta look after this other kid. I've gotta take the tube out of his butt first". - Eyeless Jack & The Alley
- ↑ Toby: (As Barbra Woods) "He just came out of surgery a few hours ago. The doctors said he will be fine." Matt: (As Jane Arkensaw) "The doctor's a fucking moron!" Toby: "Doctors are always fucking morons in Creepypastas!" Vinnce12: (As Dr. Raven Cuckoo) "What do you expect from Fat Doctor?" - Jane the Killer: The Real Story
- ↑ As the doctors unwrapped the bandages from Jeff's face everyone was on the edge of their seats. They waited until the last bandage holding the cover over his face was almost removed.'"Let's hope for the best," said the doctor. He quickly pulls the cloth; letting the rest fall from Jeff's face. - Jeff the Killer
- ↑ 6.0 6.1 MDPhantasm: (as Cuckoo-Raving) "Let's hope for the best!" Toby: (laughter) "Oh my god!" Matt: "Said the fat doctor as he's eating a pie!" - Bad Creepypasta, episode Jeff the Killer - Part 3/3
- ↑ "Doctor," said Jeff's mom, "Is my son... alright, you know. In the head?" "Oh yes, this behavior is typical for patients that have taken very large amounts of pain killers. If his behavior doesn't change in a few weeks, bring him back here, and we'll give him a psychological test."
- ↑ I fell unconscious and woke up in the hospital. My doctor entered the room. The same one who treated me before. “I have good news and bad news, Mitch.” my doctor started. “The good news is that you had minor injuries, and your parents are going to pick you up.” I sighed with relief. “The bad news is that your brother has been killed by some… thing. Sorry.” - Eyeless Jack
- ↑ I was in the waiting room forever. I can't believe how long it takes to see this doctor. I mean, sure he is the best doctor in town but still.
- ↑ While the patient's gender is never spelled out in "Dog Bite", the protagonist does refer to themselves as beautiful after the surgery.
- ↑ In the story being read this is clearly meant to be a sinister reference of some kind, but in the episode it gets laughed off as the patient having forgot they were in a country with free healthcare. Canada was the country settled upon.
- ↑ On September 20, 2010 a car was found crashed off the road, there was a body found but something strange happened; when they took the body out of the car it was missing a face. - Dog Bite
- ↑ 13.0 13.1 BAD CREEPYPASTAS - "Eyeless Jack" & "The Alley" - MichaelLeroi