| USS Phallus Fucker | |
|---|---|
 Phelous exiting his shed | |
 Phelous' shed flying through outer space | |
| Vital statistics | |
| Type | Shed |
| Population | 1 |
| Location | Nova Scotia,  Canada, Earth
|
| Inhabitants | Phelous |
Phelous' Shed, aka the USS Phallus Fucker, aka Phalicon-1, was a small wooden shed, located in Nova Scotia, Canada. Owned by Phelous, he used it to conduct his reviews. Little known to people other than Phelous, the shed was bigger on the inside, and was able to travel through time and space, much like a TARDIS, even flying through the Time Vortex.
Phelous at one point made sure to point out that there weren't very many octopi in the nearby Atlantic Ocean.
At another point, Phelous was quarantined within his shed, with no method of escape.
On another occasion, Phelous piloted it into outer space to conduct a review. Outfitted with a new artificial intelligence, Wimoweh Wimoweh Wimoweh, he conducted a review of several comics before getting confrontational with Frankie Fineass, a lounge singer and the pilot. Franky decided he needed to find himself, before Phelous stated that he needed to find himself, as he believed he was becoming evil. Franky made known his belief that Phelous was just fine, before being shot to death by Phelous. Phelous then discovered that his gun was sentient, inhabited by the soul of Sally the Magic Girl who lives in my Gun, who begged not to be used, as it destroyed a part of her soul with each shot fired. Phelous then let out many shots, causing extreme pain to Sally. Awimawey then informed him that he'd caused a hull breach by doing this, forcing him to call Ensign Floppo to the bridge. Upon making eye contact, Phelous immediately recognized Floppo as pure evil. Floppo was about to kill Phelous when he himself was killed by the New Style Ninja Tortoise. Plugging the hole in the ship with Floppo's carcass, Phelous was outraged to discover his ship was under attack.
He then called up 80's Dan, who was confused as to what he was doing there, to fire on the attacker. He managed to do so, but spilled Crystal Pepsi on the engines, damaging them. 80's Dan then abandoned Phelous, intending to have intercourse with Elvira. He then received demands of surrender from the other ship, under the command of Phelous D1. The USS Phallus Fucker had been broadcasting a distress signal, which was picked up by Harvey Finevoice and Linkara in the Comicron-1. Finevoice refused to say the name of the ship, and when read it immediately clued in Linkara as to who the ship's was.
They set a course for Phelous's ship, immediately destroying Phelous D1's. Linkara wanted thanks for the rescue, and for having saved the world from the threat of Phelous D1 forever. Phelous laughed at the idea that Phelous D1 would be destroyed, only to stop and pretend that he had no idea who that was. This brought immense frustration to Linkara, with Finevoice saying they should never have rescued him. After they had left, Phelous D1 somehow returned, only to be dismissively told to kill himself. Phelous D1 agreed, arming the self-destruct, and blowing himself up.
At a later occasion, it was invaded by Krang, who was upset with Phelous critiquing some of his more bizarre schemes. Krang then forced it to fly away into the sky, taking Phelous with it.
At a later date, after a particularly rough bout of time travel, the shed was almost completely destroyed, leaving only most of the roof behind. Phelous pulled out a pistol and put it of its misery, putting an end to a long history.